I am sitting here at work. Patients are canceling. The phone is ringing. People are describing aches and pains to my medical assistant. She is triaging those calls. Which ones go to a scheduler, to me, my assistant, to a pharmacy. Filters. What rises to the level of critical…is your pain at a ”10”? Are you bleeding? How many pills did your dog eat? Come in now. Wait until tomorrow. Go to the ER. I am grateful for my patients. I am also sometimes overwhelmed with the constancy of the work. Never ends.
What is important? What questions need an answer right now in my life? What time do I have? Same as yesterday. Same as tomorrow. My calendar goes by in 15 minute increments. Somehow that does not resonate with a Mayan idea of time or a calendar that marks epochs. But it is what I do. I am busy. My highest productivity comes when I am already busy…talk to a busy person if you want something done. My highest good comes in the moments of my stillness. Talk to me when I am quiet if you want to know who I am. My challenge is to remember to be a person even when I am busy. I am flat out not good at that. I am better than I used to be, but it is the rough edge of my growth, always. It is humbling. Do. Be. (I don’t want to make the obvious joke here, but since I have already gone this far: Do be do be do!…couldn’t help myself).
Bend, OR 2010, Nikon D700