Today is a Day

Is it a good day, a bad day? I am won­der­ing how much of my opin­ion of my day is pinned to an expec­ta­tion that some­thing should or should not hap­pen. I can gen­er­al­ize this to my life. I get all hung up on a belief that what I do is impor­tant either in this moment or in the long run. I really don’t think the long run holds any impor­tance for what I do in this moment. No one is watch­ing my long run. This moment is the moment I am actu­ally in and you might be in that moment as well and I can affect you. I want to be aware of that and be decent about that. The good news about get­ting unat­tached to the long run is that I can be more free in the world. I am not going to get in trou­ble or (Trou­ble) for some­thing I do today as long as I pay atten­tion to your right to do your thing as well. I have spent a lot of my life in fear of the future, and I just want to say that all the future I know is hap­pen­ing right now. Liv­ing in the past means liv­ing in shame of some sort and liv­ing in the future means liv­ing in fear of some sort. I’m over it and whether I am over it or not does not change it at all. That truth is still my reality.

Greta, my muse, looks at me on a national day of mourn­ing the same long­ing and unaf­fected and hon­est way as she always did. She had one or two ques­tions involv­ing walks, pets on the tummy and food. Every­day held no judge­ment. The story go on right behind her holds noth­ing for her and I want to be more like that. So for me, this day holds no judge­ment. This day holds its usual series of sec­onds and min­utes. I am here, in it and free in this moment to make some choices and to live with the fall­out. That is all I know for sure.