What I Want

What I Want

”Too much of every­thing is just enough.” Jerry Garcia

I pic­tured a rain­bow
You held in your hands
I had flashes
But you saw then plan
I won­dered out in the world for years
While you just stayed in your room
I saw the cres­cent
You saw the whole of the moon!
The whole of the moon!

You were there at the turn­stiles
With the wind at your heels
You stretched for the stars
And you know how it feels
To reach too high
Too far
Too soon
You saw the whole of the moon!

Mike Scott, The Water­boys, The Whole of the Moon

Even though I am a big guy – 6’4” (viking build, etc. !) I can dis­ap­pear into a small space. I min­i­mize myself and my wants. When I was a kid I would not pick up my medals at swim meets. I feel the need to save things that don’t need sav­ing. I don’t mean like save the whales, I mean crazy things. Like I won’t want to use a lens on my cam­era because some­thing in me wants to save it. I will keep the one that is on there to have this weird sense of some­thing to fall back on. The col­ors in this photo are lush. When I saw them on the screen I thought, ”hmmm, maybe too much, bet­ter save that” You think I am kid­ding – sav­ing the awe­some green and yel­low pix­els for a rainy day – but the thought went sail­ing through me. I had to tell myself it was ok to put all that color out there. I will let you extrap­o­late this to other areas of my life. You may imag­ine how it might play out and you will likely not be far off. Fun, huh?

Any­way, today I want all the col­ors, and all the tex­ture and all the feel­ings they bring. I want all the leaves of autumn and I want the whole of the moon.

paint­ing: Les Lyden

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6 Responses to What I Want

  1. Stephen Parkhurst says:

    I want you to keep this up…

  2. Kathleen says:

    Beau­ti­ful pho­to­graph, just breath­tak­ing. Does the sav­ing feel like you are try­ing not to be too indul­gent? I know some­times I am wait­ing to try some­thing or lis­ten to some­thing or do some­thing because I am wait­ing for the moment when I can allow it to cap­ture my full atten­tion and right now I am still in the process of learn­ing so many things that I don’t want this new expe­ri­ence to crowd out the cur­rent ones.

  3. P. Voyles says:

    Some­times you have to grab what is in the moment and use it. I would not have been able to envi­sion my hand feel­ing the smooth­ness and bumps in this pho­to­graph had you saved it. The use of color is both relax­ing and rough. I look for­ward to what you share and don’t save.

  4. stephenarcher says:

    Kath­leen,
    I think you would under­stand the feel­ing, the avarice, I described. It is partly want­ing to savor, partly want­ing to make sure there is some­thing left, hedg­ing bets. All of that I think. The crowd­ing out the cur­rent expe­ri­ences is part of it – there won’t be room for all this good stuff? I will run out, get over­run, dis­ap­pear, miss some­thing. The truth is that I have a huge capac­ity for expe­ri­ence, mem­ory and life in gen­eral, but these crazy lit­tle beliefts want their footholds – like weeds.

  5. stephenarcher says:

    thank you. I appre­ci­ate your help­ing in my expe­ri­enc­ing of these photos…

  6. Rose M says:

    I love this post. You are really .….….….……real

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