Curvy Things

I stayed up late last night, but not for fun. Stay­ing up to work makes stay­ing up for fun lose its lus­ter. Once the emer­gency was dealt with and the case was over – at 8 this morn­ing, I felt myself col­laps­ing. I was up on adren­a­line only for the last sev­eral hours. We only get so many heart­beats in a life. Between those beats, we get rest. Spread­ing out the beats is a good idea. The best thing to do for a long life, there­fore, is rest. I am not sure if this logic is right, but it is mak­ing lots of sense to me in this moment.

I know when Rose and I walked this path last week, the pace of my beats was mea­sured and easy. No right angles to dis­tract my eyes, no traf­fic to jan­gle my ears. No phone to force me to hear my own voice. Curvy things, paths, limbs, grass. Maybe the sec­ond ingre­di­ent to a long life is curvy things.

Keep­ing it sim­ple might be the third ingre­di­ent. The whole uni­verse is unwind­ing – the sec­ond law of ther­mo­dy­nam­ics says that we move toward entropy. Entropy may not be sim­pler, but it is a lower energy state. Doesn’t mat­ter if it is eas­ier or not, because it is where this bus is going. Believ­ing that and some­how incor­po­rat­ing that truth in to my deci­sions seems like it would sim­plify things too. Like an accep­tance that the whole car­ni­val comes to an end even­tu­ally. It lets me off the hook from think­ing any­thing I am doing is too impor­tant. It sim­pli­fies things.

I am curi­ous and I want to be here to see what hap­pens, so doing things that help me be here longer are good. I am feel­ing the need to nod to my own mor­tal­ity tonight, and, you know, keep moving.