I stayed up late last night, but not for fun. Staying up to work makes staying up for fun lose its luster. Once the emergency was dealt with and the case was over – at 8 this morning, I felt myself collapsing. I was up on adrenaline only for the last several hours. We only get so many heartbeats in a life. Between those beats, we get rest. Spreading out the beats is a good idea. The best thing to do for a long life, therefore, is rest. I am not sure if this logic is right, but it is making lots of sense to me in this moment.
I know when Rose and I walked this path last week, the pace of my beats was measured and easy. No right angles to distract my eyes, no traffic to jangle my ears. No phone to force me to hear my own voice. Curvy things, paths, limbs, grass. Maybe the second ingredient to a long life is curvy things.
Keeping it simple might be the third ingredient. The whole universe is unwinding – the second law of thermodynamics says that we move toward entropy. Entropy may not be simpler, but it is a lower energy state. Doesn’t matter if it is easier or not, because it is where this bus is going. Believing that and somehow incorporating that truth in to my decisions seems like it would simplify things too. Like an acceptance that the whole carnival comes to an end eventually. It lets me off the hook from thinking anything I am doing is too important. It simplifies things.
I am curious and I want to be here to see what happens, so doing things that help me be here longer are good. I am feeling the need to nod to my own mortality tonight, and, you know, keep moving.