Much of what I do here is to allow myself moments to notice what is around me. Eventually I am hoping to notice myself along the way.
So I am standing outside the hospital at dusk in my white coat and scrubs taking pictures of the light post. A colleague happens by. When I finally turn around and see him he is looking up at the sky trying to figure out, I think, where the UFO is. I have not the words to explain that I like the little sheaths of red along the edge of the tree. Or that taking this picture and seeing those little smudges of red under sodium lights at dusk makes an otherwise tough day in the hospital with all its bickering and madness, with all its self-imposed suffering, with all my own self-imposed suffering and attachment, that doing this in light of all that makes me ok. I want to tell him that this three minutes balances that somehow, and that the beauty of the redness is almost heart breaking to me. I don‘t tell him that though. I know better now. It‘s a good thing to guard one‘s heart. Instead I am putting it here for the whole planet to feed on. Somehow that feels safer. I told him I was waiting for lightning to strike.
Stephen you are hilarious.
yes very funny indeed –
Great picture!
I laughed out loud at the mention of the UFO! I was in Japan once visiting some temples with my grandparents. I was happily taking photos of colors peeling off of some of the wooden structures and my grandmother said, in a strongly judging voice, “Why are you taking a picture of THAT?” I tried to explain. She told that story over and over again for several years, making fun of me. This made my Mom mad (at her mom) and defensive. I was at least a little hurt and embarrassed and then, later, mad. My other grandmother was admiring a photo calendar I made for her recently. She was looking at a photo of a brown, grassy field, blue sky and a telephone pole (for May). She said, “Most people wouldn’t think of taking a picture of a telephone pole. But you see it differently. I love it!“
I learned just a few weeks ago that my Mom was really getting into photography while she was in nursing school. Her mom was very judgmental about it. She stopped taking photographs and I’ve rarely seen her hold a camera.
I think you get this. There is lots in not much.