See Through You

I trust people I should not trust. Not always, and not as much as I did earlier in my life and not nearly as often and not for as long, but I still do it. Something in me believes that this other, this man, this woman who is sitting across from me saying, “I won’t screw you on this” really won’t. This is in spite of the entire world’s evidence saying he/she/they will, in fact, screw me. Maybe they are not malicious, maybe they are, but it takes me time to discern. In the thick of it, I sometimes believe I don’t have time to feel through it, but I do. Always. This is not a brain problem. It is a heart problem. I can think with the best of them, but my feeler is slower and does not come out readily. I have these habits of trusting the wrong people and then I get hurt, but if I wait, talk about it with people who care about me, think, feel, then I get it right. Then I can look in their steely blue eyes and see the mirage behind the fortress they portray. I can do this not because I know anything more about him/her/them. It is because I now know me, the me sitting in front of them. Once I have that, I am as safe as I can be, and that is very safe.

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5 Responses to See Through You

  1. Sue Kay says:

    The trick is: me being present; me allowing me to be present.

  2. Bobbi says:

    I like trusting. It’s better than the the alternative.

  3. Barbara says:

    I remember my friend Ellen saying to me so many moons ago, “you always trust people, and end up being disappointed that they don’t follow through”
    She was right I did……..I still want to trust people, but I have become more discerning in my later years.

  4. robert d. says:

    It is easy to trust others, good, bad or benign. The hard part is learning to trust ourself. Others can hurt or help you only as much as you let them. We can destroy or save ourself and not know why. People screw us everyday, some small, some big. People help us also, some small, some big. I continue to trust even at the verge of pain, sitting on the sideline is not an option. Thanks Steven.

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