Outrageous Ingenious

The nondairy creamer swirled, gradually slowing. Like a ride at the fair, he thought. The first taste, gritty. He didn’t notice. He wears yesterday’s socks. The odd smell of yesterday’s cut grass embedded in the greasy wheels of his Worth brand mower, mixed with the swirls of coffee aroma. He was used to it, but he still noticed every time. He left his mowers on the flatbed yesterday so nothing to load today. Usually he washed everything everyday, but he didn’t yesterday.
She lay in the grass he was to cut–he saw her right away, probably dead he thought in a deadpan way; but he was panicking. He did not know what a thready pulse was but he had heard of it on tv and she had one and everything was as stupid and predictable as tv: the spit running down her chin the twisted position where she had fallen, leg bent out, pill bottle beside her. It was like a joke and at the same time he was really afraid, panicked, grieving already. He didn’t know her. He cried and turned her over and pawed at her to start CPR–he learned in the marines. But the first step is to call out for help: YOU!! CALL 911. But there was no one and he could not remember if he was to call 911 or start pressing on her chest. Embarrassing–it passed through him somehow when he thought of her chest. Like tv, all slow motion, the phone falling from his hand and his right and left hands finding each other over her as if to bless her and then regular speed again he is going up and down and breathing in to her–he can’t help it, he thinks of God and Genesis and about clay.
When they pulled him off of her he was drenched, exhausted, sobbing, frothing, undone. He backed away, fell back. His mind went blank, but just before it did he thought that this is when he would and should be thinking of his daughter, gone from him, bitter and estranged, and he didn’t…think of her. Nothing came to him, nothing through him. Eventually he came to against a tree, his hands clenched in the grass, uncut.

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One Response to Outrageous Ingenious

  1. Muriel says:

    I LOVE THESE MUFFINS!! They are delicious! I foolwled the recipe for the most part. But I used 1/2 cup of unsweetened applesauce and no oil. I thought they were delicious and so flavorful. I might make another batch today & try bringing the sugar down to 1/2 cup instead of 3/4 and maybe adding walnuts for a little crunch. I think these muffins taste awesome and so do my family and friends. Thank you for sharing this awesome recipe.

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